


i got that red lip classic (thing that you like)

by simplykrash



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Romance, enemies to lovers to friends to lovers?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplykrash/pseuds/simplykrash
Summary: She sees her.In her perfect glory. In a perfectly fitted black suit and a white shirt and a tie. With long blonde hair curled and laying across her chest. With red lips.OR Erin and Holtz aren't the greatest of friends but are attracted to each other.
Relationships: Erin Gilbert & Jillian Holtzmann, Erin Gilbert/Jillian Holtzmann
Comments: 16
Kudos: 65





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> HI! long time no see. I wrote this a while ago and never finished so here I am posting the first chapter. There will be about 7 total chapters!! 
> 
> Enjoy!

**chapter one**

Holtz annoys her from the beginning. There’s a kind of tension Erin just can’t understand. 

She’s pulled to her. But she doesn’t want to be because Holtz is sarcastic and confident and blissfully weird and everything that Erin is not.

She wears mismatching patterns and vests and silky ties and colorful pants and things Erin would never have even stopped to look at. 

And Erin loves it but she tries so hard not to. 

Erin is angry, angry at the world for making her feel like an outcast for so long and for changing herself because of it. 

She places it on Holtz and on her already possibly angering habits. 

Like when she sets fire to towels and papers and anything within a short distance of her. And when she blasts her music so loud that Erin can’t think. And when she gets in Erin’s personal space. And maybe when she calls her names like  _ baby  _ and _hot stuff_ and  _ pumpkin _ . (because then Erin blushes and that means she’s lost the game)

And maybe when she stands there and looks so  _ beautiful.  _ And Erin can’t  _ think.  _

So she places it on Kevin. 

She pretends she’s attracted to him and she badly flirts. (the badly part was not part of her 

plan). 

She pretends to stare and yes, he’s attractive but she’d rather be looking at blond curls and blue eyes and funky dance moves that set things on fire. 

They do work well together. 

Erin writes equations and formulas and Holtz brings them to life. 

They spend hours with Erin huddled over her desk and Holtz making trip after trip to ask a question, only sometimes does said question relate to work. 

Like when she had asked Erin “What’s your least favorite color?”

Erin had refused to answer, so naturally, Holtz spent the next twenty minutes explaining why the worst color was orange. 

“Because it’s like an ugly yellow.”

“Because it’s the name of a color and a fruit. I hate fruit.” 

“Because oranges are too juicy and hard to peel.” She strokes her chin, “So hard to peel.” 

“Okay, okay, fine. Probably green or something.” 

“Why?” Holtz prods. 

“I don't know why,” Erin answers sharply while shaking her head. 

“Nice!” She exclaims. “Now, what’s your … favorite color.” She adds with an exaggerated whisper. 

Erin doesn’t answer (she should have learned her lesson) and Holtz continues “My favorite color is red. And green. And yellow. I also like tye-dye.” 

“Tye-dye isn't a color.” 

“It’s a color if I want it to be.” 

“That’s not how that works.” 

~

Holtz likes to make fun of her outfits. Her tweed work combo and her heels and stuffy shirts. 

So Erin eventually starts wearing less of what she’d call  _ professional _ clothing and more  _ casual _ clothes. She sports more jeans and t-shirts and sweatshirts and sneakers. She doesn’t dress eccentrically as Holtz does, but she’s definitely more comfortable now. 

At least she has Holtz to thank for that. 

~

When she first met Holtz, she recognized that Holtz had the  _ gayest _ energy she’s ever experienced. 

She couldn’t describe it really if asked. It was just her energy, the way that she carried herself, well that and the way she flirted with her... and Patty... and occasionally Abby. 

They were walking down the street after a bust. Abby and Patty had stayed back to collect their payment and had insisted they go get the car. Erin was not pleased to be stuck with Holtz, but she went because she did  _ not _ want to get on Abby’s bad side. 

A girl passes. Erin’s eyes follow her, running up and down her body, noting how pretty she is. With tight dark jeans and a white shirt cut low to her chest. 

“Damn.” Holtz stops walking and her eyes follow the girl too.

Erin’s head snaps up. “What?”

“She’s pretty.” Holtz comments, her head now moving back and forth trying to follow the figure of the girl through the crowd. “Whew.” She wipes fake sweat off her face.

Erin hesitates, her mouth opening and closing as she decided whether to ask, “You’re gay right?” 

“Yeah. For sure.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Erin’s words are rushed and brain fuzzy. “Cool, uh good for you. I thought so, I just didn’t want to assume.” 

“Yep, it's greattt. And it’s okay, I focus heavily on giving off that  _ energy _ .” Holtz smiles lazily. “Women. Ya know.” 

Erin shrugged. “Yeah.” She says in a voice quieter than normal. 

“Huh, uh- what about you, Gilbert, you got a thing for the ladies?”

“Um-” Erin hesitates. 

She doesn’t talk about her sexuality much. She repressed it for much of high school and some of college, until a girl came around, who was so pretty that she changed her mind. They dated for a couple of months, it didn’t  _ work out  _ but Erin did  _ come out _ . 

She also knows she comes off as straight as they come. But she liked wearing her tweed suits and stuffy shirts and little heels, she didn’t mind so much. People rarely hit on her, men or women, so it didn’t matter much. 

“It’s okay you don’t have to answer.” Holtz quickly says, voice softer than usual. Her hand reaches out to touch Erin’s arm, but it pulls back before hitting skin.

“No, it's okay. Uh, yeah I do.” 

“Niiiice.” Holtz grins. 

They didn’t talk about it after that. Just went back to arguing about what the best pizza place is. 

Erin was disgusted with Holtz’s pick. They argue the rest of the way to the car. They then move on to the best takeout in general. Again, Erin is concerned about Holtz’s pick. She makes sure to lecture her about it for the entire ride back to pick up Patty and Abby. 

When they get into the car. Holtz lets out a sigh of relief. “Erin is insane. Patty, back me up here…”


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one should be a bit longer, and we are really getting into the story here ;)

**chapter two**

Erin had never seen Holtz actually flirt until one night at a bar. 

Patty had suggested they go out for drinks, Holtz loved the idea. Abby was happy to tag along. Erin was not. 

She didn’t like easily awkward interactions. One’s where she didn’t know what to say and then the words coming out of her mouth feel like they’re coming from a different brain. She starts saying things and she can’t  _ stop.  _ But she goes because she doesn’t need another night alone with her pizza and her couch. (Although those had become less frequent now that she had the others to spend nights with).

They send Holtz to the bar to get them drinks. A girl approaches her. 

Erin watches as the girl’s hand creeps up Holtz’s arm. She watches the girl smile and laugh with her tongue through her teeth. 

Holtz is laughing too. She’s getting closer to the girl at every passing minute. Erin spots her give the girl a wink, she feels sick. 

She feels her stomach bottom out and ice fill her veins, chilling her body and bringing goosebumps to her flesh. 

And the girl is  _ pretty,  _ with long, dark brown hair and a bright smile. She is tall, long legs exposed by her dress. It makes Erin  _ seethe.  _

Erin watches and she gathers data, the girl smiles  _ a lot _ (too much, Erin thinks) and she bounces slightly in her shoes like her energy is overtaking her body. The girl has rings decorating almost all of her fingers, which are currently creeping further up Holtz's arm. She watches the girl bring a high-heeled foot raise to brush lightly against Holtz’s leg. The girl’s other ring-ridden hand is wrapping around her dark hair and twirling it softly. 

She sees Holtz get so close to the girl, their whole bodies are practically touching. Erin’s own body tightens and tenses, fingers squeezing her glass and muscles in her legs grow straight and tight. 

She turns around back to join the conversation Abby and Patty are having. They are talking about movies. Erin doesn’t care. 

Her mind reels, replaying the same tape, of curly blonde hair and winks and dimples. 

She doesn’t know how long her mind shows her that film again and again, but eventually, she feels hands press into her back. She spins, anger ready to be taken out on any random man daring to touch her. 

But it's Holtz. 

“Ladies.” Holtz acknowledges the group. 

“Having fun baby?” Patty smirks. 

“You know it, Pattycakes.” Holtz winks in return. 

“Who’s  _ she? _ ” Erin asks as the points across the room to the girl Holtz was flirting with. 

“You mean Audrey?” She answers casually. 

Erin's eyes glare and her fists clench at her sides. “Yeah,  _ Audrey _ .” Her words slip harshly out of her mouth, chin rising. “ _ She’s  _ your type?”

“I guess, she’s cute.”

“She’s so-so  _ perky _ .” Erin shakes her hand in the direction of the girl. 

“Again, cute.” Holtz smiles. It shoots sparks of red in Erin’s brain.

Her face smushes in disgust. 

“You can do better.” Erin frowns.”No, actually,  _ she  _ can do better.” 

“Jealous much?” Abby says under her breath.

“I am _not_ jealous!” Erin snaps.

“Sureeee,” Holtz adds with a smug smile. 

“I’m  **not.** ” Erin persists. “I was just wondering.”

“Why? You wanna get some of this??” Holtz gestures to her own body. Patty laughs. 

Erin glares. “No.” She shakes her head. “I do not.” Heat rushes to her face, she ducks her head to keep the other from seeing it.

Erin’s bad mood remains throughout the night. She whispers comments under her breath and constantly looks at women in passing wondering if Holtz would flirt with them too. 

She finally asks. “Would you sleep with her?” 

“What? Who?” Holtz’s head spins around the bar.

“Her.” Erin points to a woman standing at the bar. She’s short with beautiful dark skin and toned legs, muscles prominent in her heels. 

“Uhm, I don’t know,” Holtz shrugs, “Would  _ you  _ sleep with her?”

“What? No. I mean-” (she would, but she’s not about to say that) Erin’s head falls into her hands. She slides out of her seat and flees to the bathroom. She attempts to rid her face of the flaming red jealousy and embarrassment on her cheeks. 

Soon after Erin comes back they all decide it’s time to head home. No one mentions it again. 

~

Holtz and Erin tend to argue  _ a lot _ . 

Erin’s hands gester around her. “No, we can’t do that, we don’t have the right equipment for it!” 

“Yes, we do. I told you, it will work!” 

“Holtz.” Erin’s face turns cold. “We haven’t even tested it, this is  _ extremely  _ dangerous.” 

“We hadn’t tested the equipment the first time we used it!” Holtz argues.

“Yes, and  _ that _ wasn’t safe either!” Erin’s face scrunches. 

“Oh my god, stop worrying, it’ll be fine.” Holtz flips her hand in annoyance.

“Just because it was fine before, doesn’t mean it’ll be fine again,” Erin’s face hardens. 

“For the love of God, please shut up!” Holtz's voice fills the whole room, bouncing off the walls. 

Erin steps closer, her fists balled at her sides, “Make me.” 

Holtz steps closer, her feet the only noise in the quiet room. 

She’s close now, her face a couple of inches from Erin’s. She takes it in. Her eyes are dilated, the blue barely peeking out from the black surrounding them, it makes Erin  _ gulp.  _

She observes the lines of her face and the pull of her hair against her skin, soft curls blowing gently over her head. She watches Holltz’s throat bob as she swallows and lets out a small breath, Erin feels it on her lips.    
  
She steps closer. 

The heat radiating off of Holtz’s body washes over her, uncurling her fists and weakening her muscles. 

Holtz's lips, once pulled tight in anger, are now open and parted, her teeth come out to tuck into her bottom lip and Erin’s eyes can’t seem to look at anything else. 

Holtz releases the lip from her teeth. A  _ growl _ almost escapes past Erin’s lips.

Erin wants her, she now realizes. She wants to pull her close and  _ devour  _ that undeniably attractive face and lips and skin and- 

Erin realizes now how close they are, how close she is to doing just that. 

She can feel every breath Holtzmann takes, can feel the  _ pull _ urging her forward. 

She almost goes. 

A door opens. Erin jumps away.

“What are you guys doing?” Abby questions. 

“Nothing.” Erin and Holtz answer simultaneously. 

Holtz turns and goes back to her work and Erin has no choice but to do the same.

Later on that evening, Holtz breaks the silence. 

“You know I’d never do anything that would willingly hurt any of us.”   
  


“I know. I’m…” Erin hesitates, her face pulled in a grimace. “Sorry”

“It’s okay.” Holtz looks sincere, then her face tugs into a wild smile. “Although,  _ scaring _ **_you_ ** might be a little fun.”

Erin sighs and turns her back to Holtz. 

~

They get invited to a fancy event. Some sort of Gala for the government. Erin’s not completely sure. All she knows is that Holtz will probably dress up a little and then she will be able to  _ tell.  _

She’ll be able to see the inevitable attraction on Erin’s face, see the undeniable (believe her, Erin tried denying it) flush on her cheeks and dilated eyes because Erin won’t be able to stop staring. 

They decide to get ready on their own and meet at the banquet hall. 

Erin takes extra time on her make-up and lightly curls her hair, attempting to look really good. She convinces herself it's not for Holtz but for herself. 

When she arrives at 7’o'clock, Abby and Patty are already waiting. Patty in a sleek red jumpsuit and Abby in a nice black floor-length dress. 

“You guys look so good!” Erin exclaims while touching Abby’s shoulder. 

“Wow, Erin, looking nice!” Patty offers. Abby agrees.

Erin's eyes circle around them. 

“Holtz isn’t here yet,” Abby explains. 

“Oh my god.” Patty’s jaw is almost on the floor, her eyes wide in excitement. 

Erin spins to look in the direction Patty and Abby are now turned towards. 

She sees  **_her._ **

In her perfect glory. In a perfectly fitted black suit and a white shirt and a tie. With  _ long _ blonde hair curled and laying across her chest. With  _ red lips. _

Erin can’t stop staring. But then Holtz winks and Erin fumes. 

The  **pull** frustrates her. She grabs at her own hands and looks at her own feet, anything but her. 

It’s infuriating. Her attractiveness and the fact that she knows it. She  _ knows _ and she smiles and winks and prances and it’s so  _ hot.  _ Erin feels that tug in her stomach and her heartbeat pounds and she can’t make it stop. 

Holtzmann steps closer. Abby and Patty both compliment her. Erin forgot they were there. 

She looks to Erin expectantly. Erin frowns and turns after her eyes have already betrayed her and dropped to the red lips. 

Holtz just smiles, “Looking nice, Erin.” 

Erin’s wearing tall black heels, black pants that cinched at the waist with one button that looks like two in the front, and a white silky button-up, unbuttoned to a couple of inches below her collarbone. 

“Hm? Oh.” She fakes nonchalance and looks back at Holtz letting her eyes drag over her body. “You too.” 

They find their table and slide into their seats. Holtz ends up pressed next to her in the tiny booth, definitely not meant to seat 4. 

A presenter comes up and begins introductions and something else Erin’s mind can’t seem to focus on. 

Instead, it’s main attention is going toward the warm leg pressed against her thigh and on the arm, exposed by her rolled sleeves, lightly brushing hers on top of the table. 

She finds herself unable to keep her eyes from finding those red-painted lips. She can’t stop staring and her eyes dart around looking for any indication that someone  _ sees _ , that someone _ understands.  _

It feels as if she’s surrounded, with the smell of Holtz (the same mix of oil and some kind of old perfume), with the ferociously puffy blonde curls and sharp blue eyes enhanced by her makeup, and with the dragging pull and the heat of Holtz’s body  _ right  _ next to hers. 

It’s suffocating. 

She excuses herself (she seems to be doing it a lot lately), gets up, and heads to the bathroom. 

She finds herself staring in the mirror giving herself a mental pep talk. 

_ You will not look at her lips. Or her arms and hands and legs and… shit. This is hard.  _

The door swings open. 

Holtz steps in with confidence, chest pushed out, and legs strong and firm. 

“Erin…” Holtz smiles. “Funny seeing you here.”

“Did you follow me?” 

“Of course not, you just looked a little  _ distracted  _ out there, I thought I’d make sure you’re okay.” Holtz is grinning and Erin knows that she _ knows _ and her stomach does flips. 

“I’m  **fine** .” Erin keeps her face as expressionless as she can. 

Holtz steps closer. “You sure?” 

Erin gulps. “Yes.” Her voice wavers. 

“If not you can tell me,” Another step. 

“Nope, fine.” Erin’s voice comes out weak and cracked. Holtz is so close now, their bodies about a foot away from each other. Erin’s knees are weak and wobbly. 

“Okay…” Holtz takes another step, their chests are almost brushing now, intense heat radiating off both bodies. “Good.” 

Erin's eyes drop and she knows she’s lost. They take in the woman in front of her and settle on her bright red lips, popping with color against her black and white suit. 

Holtz is smirking, Erin watches closely as her lips pull tighter. It’s completely silent except for the blurred noise of the Gala going on outside, a blend of one large voice on the mic and other quieter ones under the noise of the main speaker. 

Holtz takes another step, she can feel her breath on her lips and it makes her  _ shiver.  _ Holtz watches it go down her body and Holtz’s lips part and...

They crash. 

Lips pressed and rammed into hers. 

Rough hands pull at her hair and a body smashes into her as her back hits the door. As Erin’s back slams into the hard, cool surface, she  _ moans.  _

She feels the lips on hers press into a grin. 

“Fuck you.” Erin pants. 

“Oh baby, I am.” She drops her lips to Erin’s neck and it’s all teeth and short sparks of pain until a warm, wet tongue comes out to partially soothe the wound before moving to another spot.

Her lips leave angry red skid marks all over Erin’s neck. A hand disentangles from her hair and finds her shirt and pulls, hard. Buttons crash and slide over the floor, Erin doesn’t care. She feels the coolness of the air on her chest, then a warm hand covers it. 

The angry lips find her chest and they pull and tug at skin and Erin’s so flushed now she knows she’ll never recover. 

Holtz’s hand slides down her body and pops the button on her pants. They shortly tease the top of her underwear before pushing it out of the way and...

_ Oh, oh fuckkkk.  _

Erin almost screams. 

The other hand flies to her mouth and covers it. She looks up and locks eyes and holds them. 

The fingers stroke and pump and Erin wants to cry, it's  _ so good.  _

“Erin, you’re fuckin’ dripping.” 

“No, I’m not.” A second later, “Shut up.” Her voice is rough and she barely recognizes it as her own. 

She grabs Holtz’s chin and pulls their lips together. 

Holtz’s fingers continue to move and Erin is  _ so close.  _

“Holtz, I’m...” 

“I know.” Her eyes find Erin’s. “Let go.” She demands. 

Erin does. 

It completely overtakes her, her knees shake and her body trembles and her head knocks the wood behind her. 

One of Holtzmann’s arms string around her back and holds her up. 

Her body slowly recovers and she feels hazy and warm. Her feet find their place on the ground again. As soon as they do the arm behind her slips out and a quick kiss is placed on her lips.

“See ya,” Holtz almost sing-songs. 

Holtz pulls the door open and Erin steps back. She watches Holtz walk out in that infuriatingly attractive suit, wiping her wet fingers on the pants, casually. 

She stares in the mirror, the room seems to spin, her reflection doesn’t even look like her. 

Her neck is  _ covered _ in red marks, a new one seems to appear every second. So is her chest, partially exposed from her torn open shirt. 

Her hair is messed up, from being slammed against the door. She remembers the feeling and strong hotness pulls in her stomach. 

Her eye makeup is smeared and so is her own lipstick, mixed with strong red outside the lines of her lips. 

She spends long minutes using the cold tap water and attempting to rub the lipstick off her skin. It doesn’t budge. 

She pulls at her hair with her fingers and detangles it in slow strips. She wipes at the eye makeup with her wet fingers. 

There’s a bigger issue. Her shirt is ripped, the buttons still scattered across the floor. 

Erin liked this shirt. She curses Holtzmann.  _ Fuck her. _ Erin wishes she had.

She decides to make a run for it. She grabs the edges of her shirt, pushes open the door, and  _ runs.  _

She gets weird looks. Sure she does, running in her heels and torn shirt and with marks staining her neck. 

She eventually hits the exit and finds a cab to take her home. She texts Abby a lie about not feeling well and she’s sure Holtz will be smug hearing about it. It doesn’t matter. 

She’s confused and pissed off and still a little turned on, just from the memory.

That night, Erin stands in the mirror before her shower and remembers the marks of Holtzmann, hot lips on hot skin, long fingers in wet heat, the strength of her palm pressed against Erin’s mouth to keep her quiet. 

Her lips are still bruised and hair still impossible tangled. 

She shakes it off. She’s sure attracted to her but that doesn’t mean it will happen again. Or that she likes or does anything resembling liking Jillian Holtzmann. 

She steps into the heat of the shower and washes it all away. 

~

Erin barely even looks at Holtz the following day. She comes into work and keeps her head dong, she reassures Abby she’s feeling just fine now and says it was probably just a quick stomach bug. 

She heads to her desk and does her work and doesn’t even leave to go eat lunch. She lets the equations fill her mind and wash out all memories of that night, at least for the moment. 

She leaves that night without any communication with Holtzmann. She lets out a sigh of relief as soon as she steps out of the building Holtz-free. 

It’s not until the next day where they talk again. 

Erin’s not even completely sure how it happened, one moment she was minding her business doing work at her desk and the next she and Holtz were fighting about something stupid, probably like the sheer volume of the music or the freezing temperature, Holtz liked to keep the air on. 

  
All she knows is that it definitely wasn’t worth  _ this.  _

Because Erin had said: 

“You-you are so, so…” Erin tumbles over her words. 

“Hot? Good-looking? Undeniably attractive?” Holtz fills in with fake helpfulness as she leans against the desk. 

“Yes, but-” Erin stammers again. 

“Yes?” Holtzmann asks, her face contorting in amusement. 

“No. I mean no. And that is  **not** what I was going to say.” Erin persists, her face now pale. 

Holtz creeps closer. “Are you sure? I think I might have some evidence on my side.” She winks. 

Erin’s chest shrinks. “No, Holtz.” 

Holtz steps forward, so confident and smug and feeling proud of herself. Erin _ hates _ it. 

She sees red. And then she remembers red lips. 

She marches up, the sound of her heels clicking on the tile. She remembers the sound of Holtz’s heels walking out that door. 

She grabs the collar of Holtz’s shirt and shoves, hard, against the table. She remembers Holtz pressing her against the door. 

Erin is furious. Furious that she is so damn kissable. 

“I wanna kiss your  _ fucking _ beautiful face,” It tumbles out of her mouth, without  _ any  _ consent. 

Holtz’s mouth dropped. Erin’s mouth covers it. 

It happens again. This time Erin takes her apart. 

She decides she likes Holtz like this, soft and at her will. Pliable and warm and so  _ ready  _ for Erin. It makes her feel powerful and like she has some control over this inevitability. 

Holtz comes and her body drops and she moans Erin’s name. Erin’s never heard a sound so beautiful. 

After a minute, Holtz looks her in the eyes and winks. 

“This is  **never** happening again,” Erin says. 

“I know,” Holtz smirks. “Because I still hate you.” 

“I hate you too,” Erin replies easily because she does. She _ does.  _

She repeats the mantra over and over.  _ I hate her, we are not friends, I do  _ **_not_ ** _ like her.  _

The image of Holtz continuously fills her head, she pushes it out. She doesn’t want it to be there. No matter how pretty she looks when she comes or how nice and long her fingers are or how beautifully her lips have worked against Erin’s skin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh... hope that was okay. 
> 
> Leave comments and tell me what you thought!


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bedsharing trope? yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is one of my favorite chapters!!! 
> 
> Enjoy!!

**chapter three**

They don’t talk much at all after that. They leave each other be and attempt to drop the memories of lips and hot skin and talented fingers behind. 

But sometimes it happens by accident. 

Holtz will brush up behind her and her hand will fall to the edge of Erin’s hip, and Erin will  _ shiver. _ She can’t help it. 

Sometimes they all dance in celebration and Erin ends up pressed against her, back to front or front to front, and her eyes go dark and her pulse  _ speeds.  _

Sometimes Holtz will place a hand on her shoulder when she steps behind her to look at her work. 

Erin slaps it away, but not after her shoulder twitches, and her eyes snap to long, pale fingers. 

Sometimes they  _ do _ talk. 

But it's in short sentences and puffs and groans and snorts because Erin’s afraid she won’t be able to hate her like this if they  _ really  _ talk. 

Holtz follows along and she lets out snarky comments about the way Erin flirts with Kevin, which makes Erin flirt harder, not that anything comes of it. Despite his physical attractiveness, Kevin doesn’t have much going for him but unwarranted optimism and his nice, yet, confusing words. 

Erin mostly attempts to ignore her. It works  _ for a while.  _

~

One time Holtz makes the building  _ quake.  _

An experiment goes wrong and the whole building shakes for a second. Then it’s still. 

“Sorry,” Holtz yells out. 

“Jillian Holtzmann!” Erin yells back. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Just an experiment, don’t worry about it.” 

“Don’t worry about it? The whole building almost collapsed!” 

“It did not almost collapse,” Holtz says in a patronizing voice. “Stop worrying, Erin.”

“Stop worrying?!??” Erin almost screams. 

“Oh god, I’ve awakened a monster,” Holtz says under her breath with a smirk tugging at her mouth.

“I’m gonna kill you.” Erin’s voice is now rough. 

“Not if I kill you first.” Holtz smiles at her.

It makes Erin’s blood boil. She spins around and bolts down the stairs. “I’m telling Abby.”

“Telling her what? That happens  _ all  _ the time!” Holtz argues. 

“Ugh!” Erin’s voice calls from the bottom of the stairs. 

Holtz hears a door slam, then it’s all quiet. 

~

Holtz’s face never leaves Erin’s mind. It’s a constant pressure in her head. 

She thinks about her annoying habits and tiny body and curled frizzy hair, and her eyes, bright and expressing. 

Erin thinks about her brain. She sees how  _ smart  _ and _ intelligent _ and  _ genius _ she is. She watches her come up with crazy solutions that never should work, but they do. She sees her make modifications after modification making their tools and weapons easier to use and harder to break. She thinks of things that Erin doesn’t think anyone else would pay attention to. Holtz accounts for each of their own individual discomfort with any of the proton packs or anything else. She makes tweaks and she doesn’t complain. 

She’s so  _ sweet _ some of the time it makes Erin want to push her buttons and make her mad, just so this sappy feeling will leave her chest. 

~

They all go on a trip. Kevin picks up a call from out of town and they quickly pack their bags and head out. 

It’s not a fun time, at least for Erin, trapped in a car with Holtz screaming the lyrics to the music she won’t let anyone else get a chance to pick. 

It’s maddening, but Erin tries to shrug it off and talk to Abby and Patty and ignore the simmering tension between them that only seems to get stronger. 

They arrive at their hotel late that night. To Erin’s delight (not really) they find that the hotel only has two rooms available, both with King sized beds. 

Abby quickly shouts “I call Patty!” 

“What? Why?” Erin asks, her voice tight. 

“You both snore.” Abby nods patronizingly. 

“I do not.” Holtz and Erin reply at the same time. 

Abby just smiles. “Have fun!” 

Erin shakes her head and grumbles. 

Holtz grabs the room key. “Let's get this over with.” 

They grab their bags and lug them off to the elevator. Once they reach their room, Holtz yells “I call right side of the bed.” as she throws her bag up on top of it.

“No!” Erin's mouth hangs open in an ‘O’ shape. “I always sleep on the right side.” 

“Too bad, not today.” Holtz quipped, “Unless… you wanna cuddle?”

Erin snorts. “Absolutely not, the left is fine.” 

Holtz does offer her the bathroom first, (since she got to pick her side of the bed). Erin grabs her bag and spends a  _ long  _ time in the shower. 

“Erinnn, hurry up, I’m tired,” Holtz complains through the bathroom door. 

“Aw, well,  _ too bad _ ,” Erin shouts. She smiles to herself with water running down her body and shampoo still in her hair. 

Eventually, she takes pity on Holtz, climbs out of the shower, and changes into her pajamas made up of a soft sweatshirt and some sleep shorts with dolphins on them. She steps out of the bathroom, hair wrapped in her towel. 

“Really, Erin? Dolphins?” Holtz runs her eyes over Erin’s outfits, pausing to smile at her shorts. 

Erin stops walking, “What? I like them.” Her head juts out defensively. 

Holtz laughs then takes her bag to the bathroom. Erin hears the water turn on as she takes the towel off of her head and slips into bed. 

She’s barely awake when she feels the dip of the bed beside her and the motion of a body slipping under the covers. 

Neither noticed the snores the other produced during the night. 

~

Erin wakes to warmth. 

There’s soft skin hot against her own and a hand draped over her stomach. A head of messy blonde curls are spread across her chest and face. There are legs tangled with her own and 

Erin sighs. She feels the warmth of a body and the haze of sleep. 

Then it hits her. 

Erin scrambles out of bed when she realizes what is happening. The warmth immediately leaves her and a pang hits her chest. 

She looks back at Holtz on the bed and sees a wide-eyed Holtz with a hand over her mouth. 

“No.” She whispers. “No, that cannot have happened. I blame you.”

“Excuse me, look at whose side of the bed you're on.” Holtz bolts out of bed and goes straight into the bathroom. 

“It’s not my fault, I  _ always  _ sleep on the right!” Erin calls as Holtz shuts the bathroom door. 

She takes so long that this time it's Erin pounding on the bathroom door, begging her to hurry up. 

Eventually, Holtz walks out, her hair pulled into her signature updo that Erin can’t figure out no matter how hard she tries. 

“Jeez, Gilbert, have some respect. You’re gonna wake someone up. How rude.” Holtz gives her a look. 

“You-you-  _ Ugh.”  _ Erin groans, _ “ _ Maybe if you didn’t take so long in the bathroom, I wouldn’t have to pound on the door.” 

“Patience is a virtue,” Holtz sing-songs. 

Erin groans again and heads into the bathroom.

~

When they walk out of the room, bright and early, Abby greets them.

“Good Morning! Did y'all have a good night?” She asks as they meet in the hallway.

“Fine,” Erin replies.

Holtz just grunts. 

“You okay baby?” Patty asks. 

“Fine,” Holtz answers shortly.

“Okay… what happened?” There’s a smile tugging at Patty’s lips.

“We…” 

“Holtz, no!” Erin interrupts. 

“No, no Erin.” Abby grins. “Let her tell us, please.”

“Erin and I accidentally cuddled last night. I did not initiate, neither did I enjoy it.”

“Well, I surely didn’t initiate it.” 

“Yeah right.” Holtz side-eyes her. 

“Wait, wait! Y’all cuddled!? Like spooned?” Patty asks excitedly. 

Holtz gags, “We  _ did not _ spoon!”

“Absolutely not,” Erin adds. 

“Okay… so yall just like … snuggled?” 

“Unfortunately, yes,” Erin says with a grimace.

“Hah, baby! That is too good!” Patty exclaims. 

“Oh, that is excellent!” Abby’s grin grows even wider. “You must feel so  _ close, _ so  _ connected _ , so-”

“Abby shut it.” Erin snaps. 

“Ooh, do I sense some hostility?” Abby smirks. 

“Yes, yes you do.” 

“Well be sure to exert that before bed, don’t wanna wake Holtzy with any kicking or-” 

“Abby…” Erin practically growls. 

“Yes?” Abby asks with an “innocent” look on her face. 

“Let's just go now, yeah?” Erin pleads. 

“I’ll let it go… for now.” Abby agrees.

“Fine, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, cuddle bear munchkin” Abby mocks her with a wide smile playing on her face. 

Erin shuts her eyes and wishes the ground to absorb her. 

They spend the day hunting ghosts and Erin spends it with ectoplasm covering her clothes. 

She gets to shower first again that night. 

When Erin walks out of the bathroom clean and dressed for bed, she finds Holtz sitting down on her side, a line of pillows in the middle of the bed. 

Erin gives her a deadly glare. “Really?” 

“Gotta make sure you stay on your own side,” Holtz says as she pops up and heads to the shower. 

She doesn’t fall asleep as well tonight, her mind reeling with the leftover adrenaline from their multiple busts. She feels when Holtz climbs into bed again and she hears Holtz begin to snore. 

Erin groans. 

She eventually finds sleep to the rhythm of the AC and Holtz’s breathing. 

~

She wakes with her head on Holtz’s chest, with Holtz’s slow breathing on her face, with her thigh slipped over a pair of bare legs. 

The pillows are on the floor. 

Erin sighs.

But she stays. 

She stays with her head on a warm chest and a body next to hers. She’s missed being held like this. She gives in and snuggles closer into her, the arm around her tightens. 

Her stomach fills with butterflies and warmth as she drifts back to sleep. 

Eventually, she wakes to the shifting of the body underneath hers. Holtz just shrugs and sighs. 

“Hmm, guess there was no stopping it, huh?” 

“Guess so.” Erin ducks her head and whispers. “Sorry.”

Holtz doesn’t answer, just runs into the bathroom again. This time Erin is patient. She lays on the bed and revels in the feeling of being held. 

It’s just a body, she thinks. She just missed being in someone's arms. It doesn’t matter who they belonged to. Anyways, it’s not like it will happen again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we feelin'? Let me knowwww!


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little moments :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy sorry its been so long, enjoy!!!

Erin opens her email and her heart almost drops. 

“Oh my god!  _ Oh my god! _ ” Erin's voice is loud over the music in the room. 

“What, Gilbert?” Holtz hesitates. “Uh, you okay?”

“I'm great!” 

“Okay.”

Hotz turns back to her work. Erin looks around for someone to celebrate with. Abby and Patty are nowhere to be seen. 

“Holtz?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m getting published!” 

“You are? Great!” 

“I’ve been wanting to be published by this publisher forever.” Erin jumps a little, her feet hopping on their own accord. 

Holtz smiles at the action. 

She softens a bit, seeing Erin like this, the joy spilling out from her limbs and pouring from her face in wide smiles and wild eyes. Her voice high and squeaky in surprise and excitement. 

Holtz is not quite sure what to do. She walks over to quickly pat Erin on the arm in support. “That’s great, Erin.”

“Thank you!” Erin’s body shakes in pride. “Oh my god, this is so so amazing!” 

Erin suddenly grabs Holtz's arm and pulls her toward her. She wraps her arms around Holtz’s shoulder in one quick motion of joy. 

Erin’s arm squeezes quickly and her body presses just slightly into Holtz’s. 

Holtz barely has time to bring her arms around Erin’s back before Erin pulls away and smiles. 

Holtz’s face is red and her head is tucked slightly downward. She looks soft and shy. She brings herself to smile back. “I’m proud of you.” 

“Thank you!” Erin softly answers.

She snaps out of it.  _ Getting published,  _ she thinks,  _ oh my god.  _

The door downstairs opens and she calls out, while almost tumbling down the stairs.“Abby! Abby, guess what!?!!”

Holtz shakes her head willing the smile off her face and turns the music up louder.

~

Later, when she’s alone in her apartment, Erin thinks of her, she can’t stop. 

She shakes her head and tries to knock out  _ those  _ thoughts and forget. 

Erin doesn't forget. She doesn’t forget the redness spread across pale cheeks or the slight drop in her jaw. She doesn’t forget the soft way Holtz looked at her, with simple admiration and amusement. 

She feels it shift a bit, instead of hate, there’s well… less hate. Her hate slowly rotates into a kind of admiration. Her sharp words and half-insults veiled by jokes morph into occasional praise and helpfulness. Erin lets it sink in. It’s okay, they can have slept together and practically despised each other and now become friends.  _ Yes, _ she thinks,  _ totally normal. _

~

Erin begins to care. And she begins to notice. 

She convinces herself it’s because Holtz is part of the team and they all need to be fully functioning. 

She notices when Holtz hasn’t slept in days, when she’s worn the same outfit for many, many hours, or when she looks pale and sluggish from the lack of food and water she’s consumed.

Normally, Erin would have tattled to Abby, and Abby would rush in with a can of pringles and shove them at Holtz until she made time to eat. Or Abby would have dragged Holtz away from her tools and desk and walked her to her room to sleep.

Now Erin tries to help. She gives Holtz half of her sandwich on those days where she forgets to eat. She sets bottles of water on her desk and makes sure they are empty by the end of the workday. She lugs blankets and pillows up the stairs and sets them up next to Holtz’s work area. Not too close to be dangerous, but close enough to be easily accessible. 

She’s not even sure that Holtz notices it’s there before one day she finds Holtz sleeping when she comes in in the morning and something in her heart  _ stirs.  _

When Holtz wakes up, Erin is sitting at her desk reading, legs crossed and back leaning against her chair. Holtz sits up with a stretch and a yawn. Her clearly still tired eyes look down at her watch and then to Erin watching her. 

Holtz actually blushes. 

She whispers her thanks for the bed. 

Erin blushes too. 

They still don’t talk much, but the looks are less hateful and more exploratory like they are trying to figure each other out, to find out what’s okay and what’s not, to find the pale, thin line that shouldn’t be crossed. 

~

Holtz, Patty, and Abby had gone out on a bust, it was called in as simple class 2, no need for all of them. Erin decided she’d stay behind and finish up some work. 

After a couple of hours, the three of them walked back into the firehouse. Erin’s eyes immediately found Holtzmann, her face scratched, bruised, and bloody. 

“Holtz, oh my god, what happened? Are-are you okay?” Erin rushes forwards and softly grabs Holtz’s face. 

She tilts it up for a better view. 

Her face is covered in scratches, her nose bloody, and her face bruised. 

  
Erin studies it. She trails her eyes from her forehead scratched and lightly brushes her fingers over them. 

Holtz inhales sharply, eyes closing slightly. 

“Sorry.” 

Her eyes fall to her nose, still wet with blood, she uses her thumb to swipe at it. Holtz's eyes flutter closed. 

Erin next goes to her lips, wiping more blood off the corner of her mouth.

Holtz’s lips tingle and her heart  _ skips.  _

Erin’s finger trails over the skin just below her lips. 

Holtz whimpers. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry. Just… what, what happened?” Erin whispers.    
  


“Got beat up by a ghost.” 

“How does it feel?”

“Well, it doesn't feel great.” Holtz managed a small smile, “Ghost had one hell of a punch.”

Erin chuckles. 

“I think I’m just gonna go shower, ya know to wash everything off.” Holtz smiles lightly. “Thanks for bein’ so concerned, Gilbert, means a lot.” 

She stands and as she walks past Erin she brushes her lips over Erin's cheek. 

Erin turns bright red. Her heart races for the next couple of minutes, she doesn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. 

She falls asleep that night to the memory of her fingers on Holtz’s face and lips on her skin. 

She wakes up determined to let it go. They’re  _ friends  _ now. At least Erin thinks so. 

~

Sometimes they are so in-sync it feels like they’ve known each other for years. They move in tandem and read each other's minds. 

They work better together now like they’re other parts of each other. 

Sometimes Holtz asks Erin to help her in the lab. She’ll explain what they are doing and Erin will understand. Holtz used to ask Abby to help her do these things but Erin works  _ so well _ with her. They move around each other and anticipate moves and hand each other things like they share a brain. 

Erin is an extra set of hands. They work in sync, establishing a rhythm and it’s all so  _ pure.  _ Everything blurs and it’s just her and the sounds of metal and the smell of oil and the rushes of air every time Holtz passes behind her. 

It’s the sound of loud music, knocking out her pesky thoughts, only leaving room for ones directly related to her work. 

It makes the world seem so small. Like it’s just her and Holtz in this lab, building and learning about something they love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked this chapter, hopefully I'll have another up soon, we'll see!  
> Leave comments, I love reading them !!! ;)


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahh the illusive chapter five... not even sure anyone remembers this story but here we are
> 
> uh enjoy,

**chapter five**

It starts with a bottle of tequila. 

Erin’s upset, not for any good reason, she’s just upset. And apparently, when she stomps around the Firehouse and mumbles to herself for a couple of hours someone notices— Holtz does. 

It’s late and Erin can’t sleep and her brain won’t stop doing the thinking and she just needs it to stop. 

She walks down out of her room into their makeshift living room. She sits and stares at the television, a Parks and Rec episode playing quietly. 

“Hey. Erin.” The voice shocks her and she jumps up. 

“What?” Erin’s voice is sharp and her face pinched. 

Holtz flinches a little, Erin softens, “Sorry..” She hesitates, not knowing where to go from here. 

Holtz breaks the silence, “You wanna get drunk?” 

Erin pauses, she guesses it couldn’t make her mood any worse so she agrees. “Yes… please.” 

Holtz pulls a bottle of tequila from somewhere back in her lab, Erin can’t tell. She doesn’t really care anyway, maybe she’ll care later when she’s not so pissed at the world. 

Holtz walks toward her, taking a swig right out of the bottle. Erin nods, impressed. 

“Nice.” She praises. 

Holtz nods and hands the bottle to her. She does the same, it burns, the distraction feels blissful.

They sit on the couch as the episode plays, passing the bottle between them. 

Finally, Holtz breaks the quiet stillness between them. “So, uh- what’s wrong?” She looks at Erin with soft eyes and a concerned smile. 

It sparks something in Erin’s chest and then she bursts. Tears she didn’t even know where there spring out of her eyes and her upper body curls downwards. 

“Oh shit.” Holtz hesitates before scooting over and softly placing a hand over Erin’s resting on the couch. “Uh, you can talk to me. Ya know, if you want to.” 

“I don’t even know why I’m crying.” Erin sniffles.

“Maybe it's the tequila,” Holtz suggests. “Tequila makes me emotional sometimes.”

“It’s just everything is so  _ much _ and my brain won’t  _ shut up _ . I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking. It’s  _ so _ frustrating.” She emphasizes her words with flailing hands and a shaking head. 

“What-what are you thinking about.” Holtz tilts her head and angles her body toward Erin’s. 

“I don't even know, like  _ everything.”  _

Holtz passes her the bottle again, Erin drinks.

“I just keep thinking ‘what if I mess something up?’ I love working here with you guys and what if I stop being smart enough or good enough and maybe you guys won’t need me or what if something happens to one of us and…” 

Teardrops fall from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks slowly. “It’s just scary, this whole thing. It’s so unsafe, not-not like physically, well that too, but it’s so different and weird and crazy and I know it’s stupid but I want to be believed and  _ respected. _ ”

Holtz takes a breath. 

“Erin, none of that is stupid. You’re allowed to worry. And  _ you  _ are so so smart and even if you weren’t Abby would actually kill you if you tried to leave, so don’t even worry about it. But- you astonish me, you’re absolutely phenomenal, and we need you here. Also, I won’t let anything happen to any of us.” 

Holtz reaches out a hand to lay it on top of Erin’s now resting on the couch. “I promise.”

She takes another breath. 

“It's’ okay, it’s normal that you want people to believe and respect you. And they will, we're gonna keep working hard and proving ourselves. And if people don’t believe it’s on them and we know what we're doing here. We're  _ The Ghostbusters _ , we’re so cool, not weird, ya know except for maybe me, but we are so cool and what we are doing is so  _ awesome!  _ I mean, we hunt _ ghosts.” _

Erin looks up and smiles. “Thank you, Holtz.” Their eyes meet and Erin feels flush. 

She takes another drink. 

So does Holtz. 

They turn back, each facing the television. They drink in silence except for the TV in the background with sounds of Leslie Knope marrying penguins. 

They watch and laugh and over time their laughs grow louder and more obnoxious. And they get drunker and drunker. 

Holtz is touchy when she’s drunk. Maybe it’s not only because she’s drunk but because she’s trying to comfort her, the Holtzmann way. 

She shifts closer and eventually pulls Erin’s curled legs onto her lap. She draws patterns on Erin’s skin. Letters on her arm and numbers on her ankle and other doodles on her back. 

Erin tries not to let it affect her, but all the touching gets to her and her inebriated brain lets it. Goosebumps rise onto her skin and the light hair on her arms stand up. Her thighs clenched together when Holtz began to draw on her knee and they’ve stayed that way ever since. Her pulse raced at the feeling of Holtz’s fingers on her back and she can’t calm it down. 

Until she’s drunk so much that she can barely feel it anymore, till her body is wobbly and her eyes droopy. 

Until her body sways and falls and now she’s laying on the couch, half on top of Holtz, and her body is so  _ warm _ and her head so  _ fuzzy.  _

Her brain is blissfully empty, only thoughts about warm skin and blonde hair tickling her face. 

She finally sleeps. 

~

Erin decided to go shopping. She doesn’t like shopping, can never find things she likes. But a pair of heels catch her eyes one day and she feels it. 

They’re tall and black and they slip right on her feet and they feel  _ good.  _

She walks lines back and forth in front of the tiny store mirror and she likes it. 

It’s kind of impulsive and something she probably wouldn’t do any other time but she takes them and buys them (an astonishing price, she feels, but worth it when she feels like  _ this _ ). 

She doesn’t wear them for a while. She has no reason to. 

But one morning a voice in her head says  _ Screw It.  _ And she picks out an outfit and she wears them to work. 

~

Erin’s wearing heels and she feels  _ powerful. _ Holtz is watching and she feels  _ fucked.  _

The tension that filled her chest when she saw Erin at the Gala arises again; it swirls and tightens and Holtz feels sick. 

It pulls at her and Holtz can’t  _ stop.  _

She can’t stop staring. She’ll tear her eyes away and they’ll fly right back to watch calf muscles flex and pull and watch the smooth way Erin walks in them. 

She likes the confidence that she radiates. 

Maybe it’s the heels, maybe it’s the confidence but it reminds Holtz of the Gala. The one where Erin had pushed and their skin had touched and she’d  _ snapped _ . 

But she can’t do that now. She can’t do it because it feels wrong now. Hate sex and I like you and we talk now and I confide in you sex feels different. Different lines. 

She can’t cross this one. No matter how much she wants to. 

And  _ fuck,  _ she really does. 

Because Erin can feel it too, the drag of eyes over her body and the heat that forms between them.

Erin takes it and runs away with it. She struts across the floor. And she stoops low to pick up dropped items from the floor. She leans on the counter at lunch. She walks to Holtz’s desk and asks questions and it takes all of Holtz’s force to keep her eyes on Erin’s face (or on her work or the floor or her own feet). 

Erin sees it and she  _ pushes.  _ She shifts in the dress she’s wearing, letting it slide up her thighs. Holtz sees and she clenches her own thighs. 

Erin notices and she  _ pulls _ . She lets her fingers run absentmindedly run over her legs and pull at the hem of her dress. Holtz’s head spins. 

And it messes with her. By the end of the day, her underwear is wet and her skin is flushed and her brain won’t stop. 

It can’t. She goes home early that day. 

She’s ashamed at first. But her fingers slide down her body and then she forgets the reasons she was embarrassed and she just pictures Erin’s legs and… she falls apart, quickly. It’s fast and hot and wet and she falls right asleep. 

~

Erin doesn’t even notice it at first. She had just showered after a bust and thrown on a big t-shirt and some shorts. 

She does notice that the shirt seems extra soft and smells nice. 

It’s when she walks down the stairs and Holtz’s jaw literally drops, she notices something is off. 

“Uh, what?” Erin asks, a confused look on her face.

“You-your-my shirt.” Holtz stutters, her eyes open wide. 

“Huh?” Erin looks down, she is indeed wearing Holtz’s shirt. It’s plain and yellow and goes past her thighs and Erin should’ve noticed. 

“Oh god. Sorry. I’ll go take it off.” 

“No!” Holtz almost shouts, she shakes her head, “No, it’s okay.” She says softer, “You can keep it, really, I don’t mind.” 

“Oh.” Erin replies, “Thank you.” 

Holtz shrugs and turns back toward her work. 

Erin smiles. 

She wears the shirt a lot after that. She enjoys that way Holtz’s eyes follow her whenever she does. 

She wears more short sleeve shirts in general too. Because Holtz is touchy and she likes to draw patterns and drawings on her skin. 

It started during a movie night. 

Holtz had been hesitant to even sit by Erin. 

It still felt tense between them. The line between friends and acquaintances who argue a lot is blurry. 

Neither knows what is appropriate or how far they can push before  _ something _ happens again. They don’t talk about that either, it kind of feels like it never happened. Feels like a dream that Erin can occasionally still feel on her skin and sometimes fills her brain with images that she feels she shouldn’t be able to see. 

But it did happen. It happened and it still makes Erin squirm. Because it was so hateful and fiery and  _ hot  _ and it’s so hard not to think about it sometimes. 

Holtz doesn’t know what to do either. She knows she initiated. She pushed Erin’s boundaries and she pushed Erin against that door and everything changed. But now things are changing again and Holtz thinks they might be friends. 

And yes, sometimes Erin’s s _ tick in the mud  _ attitude irks her and pushes her buttons and makes her want to scream and yell and maybe push Erin against another wall. But now most of the time it’s civil. 

It’s  _ fragile _ though. Like it could crumble any second and they could travel back to hating and pulling each other’s strings so far they tear. 

Holtz makes the bold decision to sit next to Ern during movie night and she sits far enough away that they are not touching but not too far that it’s apparent and weird. 

As soon as Holtz sits down Erin stills. 

Her body freezes and her mind  _ races.  _

It takes work to get herself to relax and let her body arch back into the cushions of the couch. 

She watches and tries to ignore the warm body a couple of inches from hers. 

Eventually, her legs ache and she pulls them up letting them rest in a cross on top of each other. The skin exposed by her shorts brushes lightly against the skin of Holtz’s thigh. It shoots through her veins. 

She hears a short breath come from the woman next to her and her body sparks still again. 

She’s sure Holtz feels it and her brain  _ reels.  _

And then a hand finds her knee and the fingers spread lightly leaving trails of heat on Erin’s skin. 

She lets out a breath of relief. It’s  _ okay. _ The line was not crossed.

The hand remains still on her leg until a couple of minutes later when it starts to move—drawing small patterns on her skin. 

She turns to look at Holtz. 

She’s still facing forward, looking at the television screen. But her face is completely blissful, muscles relaxed. 

Erin’s stomach turns and flutters.

She’s experiencing the skin to skin affection Holtz is so known for. 

It heats her cheeks and warms her heart. She feels appreciated. 

It’s been a while and she’s still staring, Holtz looks over, eyes questioning—  _ Is this alright? _

Erin smiles and lets her eyes fall to Holtz’s hand and her knee. They flick back up to Holtz and she’s smiling too. Then she turns back to the movie and her hand keeps moving. 

Erin can’t tell what she’s drawing but it feels nice— comforting. She likes it. It fills her heart and warms her body. 

Holtz continues throughout the whole movie. 

When it’s over, Holtz raises her arms to stretch and the hand Erin’s skin had taken in as its own, leaves her feeling cold and with the buzzing memory on her skin. 

Holtz finishes her stretch and stands. 

Before she walks away, Erin finds her hand, grabs it, and squeezes, offering a small smile. 

Holtz grins back. 

And that’s where it starts. 

It happens a lot after that. 

Holtz’s hand finds her skin often and draws. 

It finds the soft skin of her forearm or knee, or the back of her hand, or the outside of her thigh (this one Erin likes the most…  _ for reasons _ ). 

And every time it ends with a small smile from Erin and she touches Holtz somewhere (wrist, elbow, hand, knee) in appreciation. 

Holtz will grin and every time it shoots a strong feeling into her chest that she doesn’t want to identify. 

~

Holtz is different today. 

She’s quiet and her hands don’t move as fast. Her eyes don’t have their familiar light, her smile not reaching the ends of her face like it normally does. 

Erin hates how she notices so easily like her own body has been disturbed. 

She hates how she knows the expressions on Holtz’s face so well that she can tell when they’re barely off. 

At least she thinks it’s not very noticeable. Patty and Abby don’t seem to notice, neither does Kevin but that’s not a surprise. 

_

Now Holtz is sitting, still, on her workbench. No dancing or shaking legs or arms. No head bobbing to the music. The music is still playing, but Erin thinks it’s a bit quieter. 

Erin has  _ never _ seen her sit still. 

So Erin does something that surprises even herself. 

She walks over, legs moving without the rational side of her brain’s permission. Her heart, leading and pulling and tugging and picking up her feet and dusting them across the floor, heading straight toward Holtz. 

Once she reaches her, Holtz doesn’t even look up. 

Erin reaches out and slowly slides her hands over both of Holtz’s shoulders, they glide over worn denim and meet each other on the top of Holtz’s back. She can feel the muscles there tighten and then release. 

Erin’s eyes are wide and her heart is going wild in her chest, feeling like it might jump out. She guesses Holtz can hear it or feel it, their chests barely brushing. 

Erin’s leaning down and Holtz’s body is now tilted upward to make it more comfortable. 

Erin feels arms slowly come up to rest on her lower back, they tighten across her hip, holding her in place. She lets out a breath. 

Holtz’s face comes to rest on top of Erin’s shoulder. It’s soft and warm and their cheeks brush, silky skin brushing barely, sending a chill down Erin’s spine. 

Her hands begin to move slowly, making small circles on Holtz’s back. 

She hears a long breath release from Holtz’s mouth and she feels it, hot and airy on her cheek. 

Holtz’s arms tighten more and Erin’s back stretches to hug her tightly back as well. 

It’s solid and comforting and smells of friendship. 

Erin’s back aches from leaning over but she keeps holding tight, letting her head completely lax against Holtz’s. Her eyes shut and the senses overwhelm her. The smell of Holtz and the warmth encapsulating her entire body. The tightness of arms encasing her, making her feel small and safe. 

Holtz pulls back first. Her cheek brushing backward and her arms loosening and slipping away. 

She gives a small smile “Thank you,”

“You’re welcome,” Erin smiles, weak and dizzy, mind fuzzy from the contact. “Do ya wanna talk about it?” Her voice comes out small and cracked, nervous.

Holtz shakes her head. “Uh, maybe later” She looks at the floor, “...If that's okay?” 

Erin nods, “Of course,  _ anything _ .”

Holtz stands, she gets closer. 

Erin sucks in a breath. Her throat stuck and dry, hands clammy. 

Holtz’s face grows closer. Erin can see the small worry lines scattering her face. She’s closer, so close that Erin can make out the exact color of her eyes. Pure blue, light, and clear. 

She’s still getting closer and Erin’s eyes are fluttering closed on their own ascent. 

Softness brushes her cheek.  **_Lips_ ** , Holtz’s. 

It’s light and the lips are warm. Erin pushes back a shudder.

The lips leave quickly and cold replace them. 

“Thank you, again.” 

Erin’s still closed eyes pop open. She blushes. 

Holtz smirks, her lips tugging upward smugly. 

Erin grimaces. “Yeah…”

Her mind can’t form any more words. 

Holtz walks away. 

Erin stands for a while longer. 

~

Erin walks into the firehouse one day and energy feels off. The air in the room is darker and thicker. 

This isn’t the Holtz she’s come to know. 

This Holtz is sharp and she bites and stings. 

She bites and Erin doesn’t want to bite back. 

She’s hard and angry. 

Erin had only asked her to turn down the music  _ a little _ . “Hey Holtz, can you turn that down some?”

Holtz doesn’t respond. 

“Holtz? Can you turn it down a little, I’m trying to focus.” 

“Nope.” She responds gruffly. 

“What?” Erin’s voice raises a couple of octaves. 

“I said  _ no. _ I like it loud.” 

Erin hesitates. “Um. Okay, well. I need it a little quieter to think.” 

“Not everything's about you, Erin.”

“ _ Why _ are you being so rude?”

“M’not. You’re just being sensitive.” Holtz says in a fake nice voice that makes Erin’s hands tighten into fists below her desk. 

“Hey!” She snaps, her eyes flaming. She cools, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing Erin. Stop acting like my mother.” Holtz’s eyes remain on her desk. 

“I’m just looking out for you!” Erin defends herself. 

“Yeah, well” Holtz challenges, “I don’t need you to.”

Erin’s eyes fill with tears. She shouldn’t let it get to her, Holtz has said worse things. But not in a while and this one  _ hurts.  _ She looks down, focused on keeping the liquid  _ in  _ her eyes and on keeping her breathing quiet. 

“Okay. I’m gonna go downstairs.” Erin pushes herself out her chair forcefully and slams it back into the desk. It clangs. Holtz looks up.

“Wait… Erin…” 

Erin’s already halfway down the stairs, trying to drown out her voice. 

On any other day, Holtz would turn it down and Erin would stay. But she goes this time. It stings. 

She sits on the floor, her papers spread out on the couch in front of her. 

But she can’t focus there either, her mind drifting to Holtz, over and over again. 

~

Holtz doesn’t know what’s going on. She didn’t mean to snap. 

She knows she hurt her  _ friend.  _ And now she has to fix it. 

She slinks up from her desk and creeps down the stairs. She keeps her feet quiet on the floor and slowly turns the knob, careful not to let Erin hear her. 

She slips out the door, Erin doesn’t notice. Holtz lets out a sigh of relief. 

She knows where she needs to go. She passes a cart selling flowers every morning on her way to work. She heads that way. 

“Hi, I need flowers to tell someone I’m sorry.” 

The lady shows her several different options. She chooses one containing daisies, forget-me-nots, and mauve flowers. It’s pretty and she hopes Erin will like it. 

~

When Holtz reaches the front door she turns it slowly with a shaky hand. 

It opens and Erin looks up from her spot on the floor. 

“Hi.” Holtz nervously bites on her lips. 

“Uh. Hi?” Erin’s face scrunches. 

“I came to apologize.” Holtz pulls the flowers out from behind her back. “I was way out of line. I’m sorry. Everything I said was terrible and out of line and I didn’t mean it, I  _ swear _ .”

Erin stands and reaches for the flowers. “Wow, Holtz.” She meets her eyes. “I mean you didn’t have to get me flowers, it’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not and I take full responsibility. I’m sorry.” 

“You’re forgiven.” Erin brings the flowers to her nose, “They smell good.” 

She smiles at Holtz. 

Holtz still looks anxious, her fingers twitching at her sides and her eyes darting quickly not staying on one object for very long. 

“Hey, hey.” Erin reaches for Holtz’s shoulder. Holtz flinches. 

“Oh. Shit, sorry. I didn-” 

“No, no you’re fine.” She takes Erin still outstretched hand and places it on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I actually like you, Erin. I didn’t mean to mess this up.”

“You didn’t. It’s okay.” 

Holtz pulls her forward. Their arms wrap tight around each other and squeeze, the flowers, held in Erin’s hand brush the back of Holtz’s head.

Erin pulls away and takes Holtz to sit on the floor with her. 

They lean back against the couch. 

It allows Erin to drink her in. Her hair frazzled, probably from running her hands through it (something she does when nervous, Erin noted a while ago). Her eyes look tired and her lips still pressed tightly together. Her fingers are interlaced like she’s holding back. 

“What?” Erin asks, eyes still fixed on her hands, 

The door pushes open again and Patty steps through. 

“Hey, what’re you guys doin’? Her voice is loud and it makes Erin smile. 

“Uh, not much.” Erin tries to sound nonchalant. She’s not sure it works. 

Patty shrugs. “Kay, we gotta call, let's go.” 

Holtz jumps up and heads up the stairs. 

Erin sighs and watches her go. Then she presses her shaky feet to the floor and stands up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont know when the last two chapters will be up, those aren't complete yet 
> 
> anyways comment so i have some motivation to finish them :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed it!! The second chapter will be up soon. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated, I love reading comments, so tell me anything!!!


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